people

hello guys ! finally sampai seru aku nak menulis hahaa thank God kelas cancel harini and esok, walaupun hanya untuk satu subjek, harap takde kelas gantilah ! not sure because of the haze or memang lecturer ada hal. oh ya, dekat perak, dekat seri iskandar ni pun dah mula naik jerebu sana sini. lemas betul rasalah -_-

since start sem 3 ni, hmm ntahlah. there's nothing special that i can talk about. bertambah stress lagi rasanya adalah. and aku rasa macam dah tak semangat nak belajar atau teruskan sem2 berikutnya. and aku rasa tanak ambek muet pun, sebab rasa macam malas nak sambung degree. when i told this to some friends, most of them were surprised. dorang ingat aku bergurau. but im not. im serious. mak aku penah tanya dulu, apa nak buat lepas diploma, nak sambung degree ke? aku kata ya, memang nak sambung degree. but now i changed my mind, study is boring. memanglah sekarang ni orang dah tak pandang sangat kelulusan diploma ni. haih idk how can i explain this feeling. maybe i'll rethink bout this thing later on

then lately i feel like forever alone. sometimes i feel like im invisible to others. being ignored is a normal thing that always happen to me. but its okay since im used to it. people here are totally different. i dont want to mention names but sometimes they are too much. i hate being around them but at the same time i hate being alone. i dont have a person who i can talk to. i never tell my problems to my friends here. trust me nobody cares bout it. i just keep it to myself, and it hurts. the last time i cried to my sleep was on last wednesday. that was when i told my best friend about how it hurts being here, being in my place. whenever i feel sad i'll just scrolling my timeline, hoping to see their tweets, ggm's tweets. they know how to make me smile and they are the most reason why i smile like an idiot to my phone.

i really wanna go home like now. i really wanna meet all of my friends and laugh with them. people here are just... idk they cant be expected because idk them well. im not saying all but most of them. they are too depending, sometimes, and i think they really need to make an effort rather than hoping people to make it for them. bukanlah nak kata aku perfect tapi sometimes aku terpengaruh jugak. their attitude, their actions taught me to be selfish, hopeless, heartless. heartless because of too much pain they gave me. so i prefer to be an observant. im not a mind reader, idk whats on their mind but i know what they are thinking. i know when they are telling lies, i just let them be and see how far they can carry on. im not that stupid to believe everything they said to me. and oh, we got backstabbers too u know?

people here love to blame each other. they are too ego to admit their fault. but i try my best not to follow their bad influences. i know its no use like seriously its not that hard to apologize right? nak mengalah pun susah betul. bukannya mati pun. if they keep acting like this im quite sure they will never learn a lesson and trust me they will keep repeating the same mistakes again and again. good luck with your ego people !